I used to think that holding it all together was the key—being the perfect wife, pastor, and friend. The more I could control, the safer I felt. I believed that if I could just keep everything in its place, life would work out the way I wanted it to. Spoiler alert: It didn’t.

When the pieces of my carefully constructed life shattered, it felt like the end. My identity—wrapped up in roles and expectations—fell apart, and I was left standing in the wreckage of everything I thought I needed to be. It was terrifying. Losing the image I had built for myself wasn’t just uncomfortable; it felt like a freefall into the unknown.

But here’s the thing about rubble: it’s where the real magic happens.

In the midst of losing everything I thought mattered, I finally found myself. I discovered that I didn’t need to keep it all together to be worthy of love, to belong, or to feel like enough. In fact, it was in losing control that I truly started to live. The rubble became my teacher. It taught me that perfection was never the goal—freedom was.

Letting go of control wasn’t easy. It meant surrendering to the mess, to the unknown, and to all the things I had been avoiding. But in that surrender, I found freedom. I found my authentic self—the one who didn’t need to please everyone, who didn’t need to perform, and who didn’t need to hide behind perfection. I found the power in being real.

If you’re in that place—where the pieces are falling apart and you don’t know what’s next—take heart. The magic is waiting for you in the mess. Sometimes, losing everything you thought you needed is what finally sets you free.