I’m starting to realize that no one ever gets a feeling wrong. Every emotion—whether it’s anger, hurt, jealousy, tiredness, joy, or curiosity—is simply a part of who I am. Even in moments of discomfort, when my lower back is on fire and all I want to do is finish this blog, I know there’s a message there: I’ve done enough. It’s time to take a break, breathe, and maybe even share a quiet moment with Kelly.

For years, I rushed to get past my anger. I thought that if I could just move quickly from being upset to being loving again, I’d be more evolved, kinder, and more mature. But in doing so, I never truly honored what I was feeling. I pushed aside my frustration, my need to set boundaries, and even my genuine discomfort—believing that these feelings were signs of weakness rather than powerful indicators of change.

Allowing myself to be upset is not a failure; it’s an essential part of growing. I now see that every moment of anger, every surge of frustration, and every burst of passion is an opportunity to reconnect with myself. Instead of trying to force my way to quick fixes, I can be with my anger. I can take a hot tub, a cold plunge, a walk, or a run—not to erase my anger, but to sit with it, understand it, and learn from it. This is HUGE.

Reflecting on my past, I remember the times when I would snap—like that morning when, already frustrated, I found Leo’s clothes scattered in the bathroom. The rage would build up so quickly that I’d feel the urge to scream, hit something, and yet, I’d pick up the clothes and force my anger into silence. I was so desperate to maintain order, to create strict boundaries, that I lost sight of the growth and transformation happening inside me. I was scared, and I didn’t give myself the grace to fully experience that fear. I was too quick to force solutions, too eager to be “good,” instead of simply being with what I was feeling.

I now understand that all that intense discomfort was a sign of growth—not something to be rushed past or fixed immediately. I was in the midst of enormous change: a new career, a new understanding of my sexuality and gender expression, a new living situation with Kelly and her family. I didn’t allow myself the space to evolve naturally. I was so focused on clinging to what I thought I needed—a certain order, certain rules—that I lost the opportunity to work with Kelly rather than against her. I even pushed her away, insisting on my way, as if that would validate my worth.

Today, I choose a different path. I choose to honor every emotion, even the messy, painful ones. I want to allow myself to get mad, to be hurt, to feel jealous, to be tired, and yes, to be happy and curious too. I’m learning that true self-growth comes not from bypassing the tough parts, but from embracing them fully, with patience, love, and grace.

This journey of transformation has taught me that every sign of discomfort is a stepping stone. I’m not rushing for a quick fix; I’m allowing myself to sit with my feelings, to understand them, and then to grow—at my own pace. And I hope by sharing this, I can invite you to do the same. Embrace your anger, your fear, your joy, and your vulnerability. They’re all parts of your beautiful, evolving self.

Let’s journey together—honoring our mess, our magic, and every step of the way.

Gold Nuggets:

• No feeling is ever wrong. Every emotion, including anger, is a valid part of your experience.

• Allowing myself to be upset is not a failure. It’s a necessary step in processing change and growth.

• Discomfort is a sign of growth, not something wrong.

• Sitting with my anger, rather than trying to erase it, creates space for deeper self-awareness. Using a hot tub, cold plunge, walk, or run isn’t about getting rid of the anger—it’s about being with it. This is HUGE.

• My physical sensations (like back pain) are messages. They remind me to pause, take a break, and care for myself.

• Taking time to honor my emotions means giving myself the grace to grow, even when I’m angry or upset.

• I can use these moments to build more patience, love, and grace toward myself.