As the New Year begins, I’m approaching resolutions differently. Instead of diving into a list of goals, I’m pausing and reflecting on how I want to grow—not just individually, but within my marriage.

Recently, my amazing wife, Kelly, booked us a session with Nashville’s Shaman, Jeff Crawford. It was a game-changer. We left with a notebook full of insights, tools, and guidance for our individual paths and for navigating the delicate dance of staying connected while honoring our authenticity.

One of the biggest takeaways? How to balance being separate yet connected.

I’ve always struggled with this. I either dive too deep into enmeshment—where I lose myself—or isolate completely. But Jeff introduced us to a life-changing framework: Find your three points of connection. These are the shared values that anchor your relationship. For Kelly and me, they are:

1️⃣ Family
2️⃣ Healing
3️⃣ Adventure

These values are our touchstones—the things we’ll always come back to together. Everything else? Off limits. It’s about creating boundaries that allow space for individuality while building a foundation of connection.

This approach has been eye-opening, and I wanted to share three simple steps to staying true to yourself in any relationship:

1. Define Your Core Values Together

2. Prioritize Individuality

   • Engage in hobbies, friendships, and activities that fulfill you. Supporting each other’s growth strengthens your connection.

3. Communicate Boundaries with Love

This framework is already helping me navigate the balance of separate yet connected. It’s not perfect (is anything?), but it’s a start.

As you reflect on your own relationships, ask yourself:

Let’s embrace this year with curiosity, balance, and intention. Special thanks to Jeff Crawford for these incredible insights. If you’re looking for transformative guidance, I can’t recommend him enough.

Here’s to a year of staying true to ourselves and connected to those we love. 💫