Update: I got kicked out of The United Methodist Church… so now what??

es, it is true. I did get the boot from The United Methodist Church. In technical terms, I was discontinued from ordination as an elder. I was on year 8 of 8 and just a few months shy of sealing the deal and becoming an ordained pastor. So, what happened? Great question, I’m still unraveling this myself.

The Short Answer: A Missed Zoom Call

The short answer… I missed a Zoom call. Yes, after 8 years of appointments, exams, interviews, background checks, seminary school, internships, and more it came down to missing one Zoom session. And I should have known better, at least that is what I was told. It is listed in the Book of Discipline (this was clue one that maybe this wasn’t the best fit for me… the standard operating procedure is called the Book of Discipline…yikes) that you need to meet with BOOM (this was also a huge clue that maybe this isn’t the place for me that the certifying board is called Boom. Why didn’t I pick up on these things earlier??) or the Board of Ordained Ministry every year. Yes, it is in the BOD, and I did not comply.

Longer Answer: Not a Great Fit

Longer answer… I think it was becoming more and more apparent to all of us that I was not a great fit for ordination. Issue one– itineracy does not work for me. This is where the Bishop and the cabinet appoint pastors to churches within the conference. So, at any time I could have been appointed to any church in Colorado, Wyoming, Utah, Montana, or this one church in Salem Idaho. This isn’t so great for me because I’m actually pretty picky where I live. And, also turns out I don’t like cold weather. It only took me 48 years to figure that out but I thrive in warmer weather. Hashtag: I heart southern living. Another sticky spot is that I’m an Enneagram 4: the Individualist. (If you don’t know about the Enneagram or your type, check it out: Enneagram Institute). In my words, the Enneagram is a spiritual personality type and mine indicates that I have a huge drive to be special and absolutely need to be true and authentic to myself. This does not work well with the ordination process.

Other Sticky Points

Another sticky point… also located in the Book of Discipline “fidelity in marriage and celibacy in singleness” (BOD 266, 231, 269)… yeah… the fidelity in marriage, absolutely! The celibacy in singleness… that’s a deal breaker. Is this really necessary? How could I marry someone without having a roll in the sheets first? Does anyone else feel anxiety at the idea of celibacy in singleness? How do you know if you are sexually compatible? Doesn’t this just promote getting married really fast? Is that a good idea? And who wants to have their first time be the night of their wedding? No thanks!! Personally, I want to be well-practiced for that event. But maybe that is just me. Hashtag: horndogger.

The list goes on… the UMC and I needed to break up. It was a tough goodbye and there were hurt feelings on both sides. I’ve worked through some of the bitterness and deep hurt, and can look back and be grateful for our time together. We did have some great times, UMC and I. But, we are better apart and both stronger for it… I keep telling myself.

So, what’s next??

So, what’s next?? Update: I took a leave of absence from the church and then quickly got kicked out. I then moved to Nashville, Tennessee. Random, I know! My word of the year is “FOOL” so this felt like a very fun foolish thing to do… move across the country for love. Yep, I fell in love… with…. Kelly Liken. Yes, she is a woman… so we can add coming out to the list. And yes, she was married so that was a bit of a bumpy ride as well. BTW, I also got divorced, that was official Valentine’s Day (awesome) so we can add that to the foolish list as well. I moved, fell in love, came out, moved again, sold a condo, bought a duplex, became a step parent, got engaged… twice, wrote a book and am working on the next one. Phew… I’m exhausted just writing all of that. It’s been one big, very foolish, year… and the best one yet.

Taking a Breath

I decided to hit an extra return space because I feel we all need to take a deep breath after that. Deep breath in… breathe in the love… breathe out the hate…. Breath in the joy… out the misery… breath in the magic… out the doubt. Okay, better. So, what is the next chapter? Pun intended… as it is literally a chapter. I have decided to dive back into the world of speaking, writing, and sharing myself with as much honesty, truth, and vulnerability as makes sense for both me and you. It has been my dream as long as I can remember to be a published author and at the young old age of 48… I’m going for it. I am leaning into my love of all things books– bookstores, hardback books, new books, old books, library books, bookmarks and all things in between. I have always loved reading, loved books, bookstores, and writing.

Embracing the Author Within

This is me… Molly Booker… author.

Clearly, I was born to produce books… it’s in my name for crying out loud. Sometimes I’m a bit slow to pick up on the clues. I have a goal to write everyday until my wedding… also a surprising update.. I’m eloping on November 11, 2023… my favorite number: is 11:11. So, yes, I am a writer. This is what I’m doing… I’m writing. I have also spent a ridiculous amount of time with Legos… stay tuned I will show off some of my creations (Thank you Amy Brown for the inspiration). Along with writing and legos, I’ve also been dabbling in gardening, running, walking the dogs, being the best partner I can to Kelly, navigating parenting with Lucy, working on creating a blended family with Rick, and traveling to as many bookstores as possible (send me your suggestions!). I’ve been busy.

Embracing Change

For some of you, this update will not ring good news. Perhaps there is hurt from my departure from the church or disappointment in my new sexual orientation as a lesbian. Maybe you don’t like my divorce, my choice in partner, or my new haircut. I’m okay with all of that. I have changed a ton and maybe we are no longer a great fit for each other. It’s okay, we can say goodbye for now. For others, this is only the beginning. I’m more me than ever and maybe this version of Molly is someone you’ve been waiting for. If that’s the case, welcome, and… did we just become best friends? Yep!!